The hardest step is the first one.

For many couples, the most difficult part of getting help for their relationship is making an initial contact with a therapist and setting up an appointment. Getting through this milestone can be anxiety provoking and create a sense of shame or failure for couples. Please don’t let those feelings get the better of you.

Attending to your relationship is hands-down one of the biggest gifts you can give each other. Until you do that, you will be walking in the shadow lands with the real potential of your union unknown. By opening yourself up to seeing a couples specialist, you will bring into the light the very fears that are holding you at odds today. Similar to ripping off a Band-Aid, it may hurt initially, but by addressing it head on, you can quickly find relief.

In Part One I gave you three critical questions to ask any couples therapist before you make an appointment. Following are six more questions worth asking based on what is bringing you to consider therapy. And, no matter what is bothering you, be sure to ask question six!

Other Important Questions

  1. Do you use any assessments to help you understand couple relationships better? Appropriate assessments can be very useful in providing greater detail and a deeper look into your circumstances.
  2. Do you collaborate with other therapists, caregivers, and/or treatment centers to help us get the best care possible? If your circumstances require it, collaborative care can speed up services and gets all of your care providers on the same page.
  3. Are you accessible for us to reach if we need in-the-moment help with a conflict or crisis? Some couples may benefit from real-time coaching through issues, and having access to the couples therapist outside of sessions can be very helpful.
  4. Do you provide virtual sessions or support through virtual modalities like apps, texting, videoconferences, etc.? If you have obstacles to meeting face-to-face, look for a couples therapist that can provide virtual solutions for sessions.
  5. Do you offer packages for services or provide intensive sessions if needed? Both time and money matter when it comes to focusing on making progress and many couples therapists offer options that address both of these concerns.
  6. And most importantly, do you like being a couples therapist? Being a couples therapist is difficult and is best done by a professional who genuinely believes they are called to the work.

All of these questions are geared toward making sure that the person you hire to help your relationship will be the right fit. It can be a real bummer if, after taking the brave step to meet with a couples therapist, you find out they really can’t meet your needs. It can be emotionally exhausting to go through the initial meeting process with multiple people, so asking the right questions before hand can be energy saving.

After reading through these posts it’s possible you just don’t want to see a therapist yet. If you are still wondering if there is something you can do before going to therapy, sign up and give the Relationship Reset Experience a try. It just might help make the difference you are looking for!

Until we meet again—Love each other well

Jen Elmquist